main point – I most noticed the difference in behavior between Peter and “another disciple” who I think is supposed to be “the disciple Jesus loved”. Peter is afraid and hangs back but the beloved disciple is known by the high priest and goes with Jesus, apparently unafraid.
new light – I hadn’t really thought about the fact that the disciples were also in danger of being arrested and killed.
truth – is this true to my experience … yes. I have to admit that if I were one of the disciples, I wouldn’t even have the courage to follow at a distance, like Peter. I still cringe, telling new people that I’m a christian.
implications – I find inspiration in the example of the courage of the beloved disciple. And I’m comforted by the fact that Jesus still chose Peter to lead the disciples … Jesus doesn’t expect us to toe any special line to be accepted, he takes us as we are.
problems – it is kind of demoralizing to realize what a coward I am, but I try to keep focused on Jesus instead of myself.